Satirical Society of Scintillating Sentences: Installment of Traffic Lights

headerTo combat the many accidents and the traffic occurring in Seahorse High School, the administration proposed installing traffic lights in the hallways due to the constant hallway traffic rage. The traffic lights will assist the students to navigate through the schools with more order. “We once had a fistfight break out because a student ran into another when he was making a right turn,” says Ms. Lucas, a teacher at Seahorse High School, “We can’t afford to have another fight occur because of hallway traffic. Hopefully, the traffic signs will reduce the hallway rage we have observed in the students.”

Seahorse High School will be the first school in Atlantis to install these traffic signs, and other schools may soon follow suit. “In the future, Reef High School also hopes to install these traffic signs. With over one thousand students on campus, many of our hallways are congested, and students are unable to arrive to class on time,” states the principal of Reef High School. “Many of the students and teachers here are interested to see the outcome of the installment at Seahorse.”

When the students at Seahorse were asked about their thoughts on the installment of traffic signs, the idea received loud applause. An anonymous student especially loved the prospect of traffic lights. “I can never time my turns correctly, so I always end up bumping into someone. It’s so embarrassing and because of my route, I always end up causing a scene in front of my crush,” a student states. The student has asked for her identity not to be revealed in this article due to the possibility of being utterly humiliated and never being able to date her crush. “With traffic lights, I’ll know when I can turn, and I won’t make a fool of myself running into people,” she says.BeautifulTrafficLights

In the near future, along with traffic signals, the administration of Sea Horse High School plans to install one-way hallways as well as implement speed limits. In a speech to the student body of Sea Horse High School, the principal, Ms. Lakewood, said, “We still have plenty of work to do to fix the problems many students are having when they’re walking through the hallways. Installing traffic lights is the first step to solve this problem.” The administration is discussing the possibility of speed limits and one-way hallways, if the traffic lights reduce the hallway rage.

Words and Images by Mina Choe

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