Satirical Society of Scintillating Sentences: Want To Become Spider Man?

microwave

This is a one of a kind microwave that I personally invented. Its main purpose is to create radioactive spiders, but it can also make amazing Hot Pockets. This is perfect for anyone who wants to fulfill his/her childhood dream of becoming Spiderman.

Becoming Spider Man is fairly simple. Catch and microwave a spider, then let it bite you. After a few hours of pain, you will be able to swing from webs and defeat many super villains. However, this only works with this particular microwave, so don’t try to microwave a spider with any plain Jane microwave. The spider will either die or turn into a giant mutant that will destroy the world.

I am selling the microwave for $500 (I am open to other offers) to a young man, preferably someone in his twenties named Peter Parker. If interested, contact me from a phone booth at this number: rgb – pip – msli. If you cannot decode the number or cannot find a phone booth, you are not The One.

Spiderman costume and spider are not provided.
Older men have a higher chance of dying from a radioactive spider bite. Boys younger than 18 will not die, but the limb with the spider bite will have to be amputated.

Click link if interested in becoming Captain America:
http://bit.ly/IqT6zt

Words and Picture by Mina Choe

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